Edward Elric's Guide to High School
by xXGrayGuitar14Xx
Summary: Edward and a few of his friends make a tip book about surviving high school. Even though the tips may not be that helpful. Follow Ed and Al's long and painful journey through high school. Can they survive or will the drama, stalkers, never ending friendships, parties and crushes be to much for them? Well, Ed and Al did lose their sanity on the first week of school so...DISCONTINUED
1. New School and New People

**A/N: I got this in my head while making brownies ^.^ anyway, I'm starting high school this year and I'm sure I'm not the only one on here that is. So, Eddy here will give you tips!**

**Edward: Yeah, follow my tip book and you'll survive high school! **

**Yeah, this is a mini story/diary and list all in one. So enjoy~**

**By the way, don't take the tips seriously. Some are helpful. Some are for jokes. Ok? :P mainly for jokes. **

**Edward Elric's Guide to High School**

**A list made by Edward Elric and other unimportant people.**

**Mainly Edward Elric**

**First Day of School:**

**Tip #1: By Edward Elric **

**(For the guys) If a pretty girl walks up to you and introduces herself to you, she is probably taken by the jock/bully of the school. Well, that's how movies go ( and my first day!) **

"Hi, I'm Winry Rockbell!" A pretty blond girl walked up to me. "Are you new here?"

"I'm Edward Elric. Yeah, I'm not sure wear my first class is." I replied.

"Oh, let me see your schedule." I handed her my schedule and she scanned it over. "Oh, you are in my homeroom! Come on, I'll show you."

I followed Winry down the hall until we came to class B4. As soon as I walked into the classroom, I was hit in the face. I fell down. When I opened my eyes I was face to face with another boy with a snarl on his face.

"Don't you ever talk to my girlfriend ever! This is high school, punk. You better learn your place, fresh meat." Then he left. I was about to jump up and punch him too, but Winry held me back.

"That's Roy Mustang. He's my boyfriend. I'm truly sorry. He can be overprotective." Winry said.

I sighed. I haven't even been in school for an hour and I already made an enemy.

**Additional notes: This can happen with girls too! Except for the punch in the face part… ( Added by Winry Rockbell)**

**Tip # 2: by Alphonse Elric.**

**Make sure you aren't late on the first day because apparently teachers like first impressions and they will embarrass you if you are late. Because some teachers are cruel like that. **

"Where the heck is class C3?" I muttered to myself. I was late because I didn't get much sleep (I think I have insomnia) and I slept in. Finally, after running around the school for fifteen minutes I found class C3.

I entered the classroom. A woman with a stern face glared at me. "Mr. Elric, I assume?" she asked.

I nodded my head.

The teacher smiled, but it wasn't nice a nice one. "I'm Miss Lyra. Now, I hate tardiness and you aren't making an good first impression. If you are late again it will go down on your permanent record and I'm sure colleges don't want to see how many times you have been late."

I gulped. Damn, she was scary.

"Now, take your seat." She ordered me. I looked around the room and saw that there were no more seats available.

"Um, Miss Lyra, there are no more seats available." I said nervously. Then, she started laughing.

"Maybe if you were here earlier then you could've chosen a seat. It looks like you will have to sit on the floor."

She couldn't be serious right? She pointed to the floor and I sat down. This was going to be a long year.

**Additional Notes: **No wonder she is still single. **( Added by May Chang)**

**Tip #3: By Edward Elric. **

**Your lab partner will end up being your partner in all classes. Then you are stuck in a never ending friendship. No matter how much you want it to end. **

"Yo, new kid." A boy(?) came up to me. He had on a white shirt and green pants. His hair was slightly green and it was shaped like a palm tree. "Let's be lab partners."

I raised an eyebrow. "Um, ok. I'm Edward by the way."

He held out his hand. "I'm Envy."

So, he was named after a deadly sin. "Edward, here's the deal, we are going to be best friends. You will come over to my house every day and listen to Dubstep with me."

What the hell was Dubstep?

"Then we will watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."

What?

"And then we will order pizza, do homework, and play Call of Duty: Black Ops. And if I ever see you with another friend besides me then I'll make your other friends go poof." Then he said sweetly. "Ok?"

What have I gotten myself into this time?

**Additional Notes: **My Little Pony is a great TV show! **( Added by Envy) **

That sounds like fun. Your lucky, Edward! **( Added by May Chang)**

Um, it's You're not your... **( Added by Alphonse Elric) **

I stared at the paper. It was only the first day of school. Although, why Winry, Envy, and May ( some girl Al met) were here at our house is surprising. Winry wanted to make things up to me for earlier this morning. Envy stalked me to my house. And May wanted to see Al. So, she stalked Envy to our house.

I leaned over and whispered to Al. "There is no way in hell I'm going back to school."

Al sighed. "It's only the first day of school Ed."

"Exactly." I hissed.

**A/N: Ok, Ed can't give more tips because it's only the first day of school. Well, that sounds like a horrible first day to me! Poor Eddy.**

**Eddy: I'm bringing more tips later! **

**Envy: So review and we'll go to my house and party! ;) **

**A/N: By the way, I got the idea of this from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide although I'm just making up tips… so yeah :D No one can top thta TV show ^.^ **


	2. PE, Sports, and Spongebob!

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Here is chapter two! This will be helpful because its sports and P.E. related. **

**Eddy: I will never run again.**

**Al: Neither will I.**

**Yeah, I'm going to be out of shape for cheer camp in two weeks. Oh well! **

**May: Red doesn't own FMA or Edward's guide. **

**Greed: Or spongebob or Shake it up…. Or stronger by Kelly Clarkson. **

**Edward's Elric's Guide to Highschool. **

**By Edward and Alphonse Elric (P.S. Al made me add his name on here)**

**And other unimportant people. **

**Day Two:**

**Sports and P.E. **

**Tip #1 By Alphonse Elric**

**No matter how tired you are….KEEP RUNNING! **

**VERY IMPORTANT TIP TO SURVIVING GYM CLASS! **

"Alright, you lazy bums. I'm sure you spent the whole summer writing fanfiction, playing video games, and eating midnight snacks. So, I want you all to run 17 laps. If one of you stops I will add on an extra five laps for everyone. And no talking either!" Coach Armstrong blew her whistle. "NOW GET MOVING!"

Everyone including myself started jogging around the gym. If I broke out into a full sprint then I would've been tired, so it's better to pace yourself by jogging first. I always sprint the last few laps. By the time I hit my 11th lap I was starting to get tired. That's when the first fallout happened.

"Fuery, Sheska! You stopped running! 10 laps extra for everyone! I told you to get moving!" Coach Armstrong yelled.

I groaned. Coach Armstrong blew her whistle again. "An extra 5 laps because Mr. Elric decided to groan!"

"Fuck you." I muttered. I really hate that coach. Now I had to run 26 laps! I started sprinting. Maybe I could knock off a few laps faster. That's how P.E. was. Jogging and sprinting.

Finally, I finished my 41 laps. Yes, more people stopped running. Ok, I stopped running too, but that was one time! Man, this school is freaking brutal!

"Ok, now go get a jump rope and jump 300 times. GET MOVING!" Coach Armstrong screamed. Fuery and a few other kids scrambled to the P.E. closet to go grab jump ropes. I'm so tired!

"Oh no. I can't do this and-" Sheska, a girl who was in my homeroom class, threw up. A few people ran up to her and others stared in awe. Coach Armstrong sighed.

"This is why you don't eat anything before P.E. people. That" She pointed to Sheska. "is your warning."

I couldn't help but starting feeling sick too. I looked at my watch and saw we had another thirty minutes of this class. I groaned and started jump roping again.

**Additional Notes: Damn, that woman is freaking brutal! I don't even think Coach is that bad… ( Added by Greed ) **

**Tip #2 By Edward Elric. **

**(Well several tips in one) DON'T USE STEROIDS! **

**IMPRESS YOUR COACH** ( but not too much because it may look like you are kissing the coach's ass.)

**Warning: POINTLESS TIP. IT'S JUST RANDOM. -_-**

I was trying out for the football team. I knew that Roy Mustang was playing football. I played at my last school and I was a wide receiver. Looks like I can try.

"Hey pipsqueak! Who says you can join?" Roy said as soon as I entered the locker room. I started putting on my under armour, shoulder pads, knee pads, and whatever else football players put on (I never learned the terms I just put the stuff they gave me on).

"Me, myself and I." I replied.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Stand a little taller!" One of the football players sang.

"Shut up!" Roy yelled. He turned his attention back to me. "What position do you want to play?"

"Wide receiver. And I plan to get it!"

"Whatever."

"I think you should give the kid a chance. Plus, short players are good for getting away faster." A boy came up to me. He had black hair that was tied up into a pony tail. Oh, he was Xingese.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU CAN SEE THROUGH A MAGINFYING GLASS?" I yelled out of anger. I hate being short!

"Calm down. The name is Greed. Ignore Roy. He's probably PMSing or something. Now, let's go to the field."

I followed Greed out onto the field. A few boys were already practicing. Greed and I tossed the football around until practice actually started. Coach Izumi came out onto the field. Yes, she was a woman.

"I know I'm a woman so you can stop staring! I don't care what gender I am. I know football and can teach it. Any questions?"

Roy raised his hand. "What is the policy on automail? I believe one of our players has it."

"The policy on automail is simple as the policy on steroids. You are not to enhance your automail to improve your performance on the field. It is to be maintained and I need a note from the auto mail mechanic saying that they maintained it and didn't make any changed to it. My defensive coordinator knows about automail so he will be able to tell. Who has automail on my team?"

I stood up. "I'm Edward Elric. I have an automail arm and an automail leg. I don't have a mechanic yet. My dad hasn't found one for me. I can assure you that I have played football in the past and haven't used steroids or enhanced my automail. I'm too talented to get Roid Rage."

Coach Izumi chuckled. "Well then, aren't you promising? Let me see you perform, Edward."

Greed grabbed a football. We got out onto the field. Greed threw the ball and I ran as fast I could. I caught the ball with my left hand and I ran downfield to the touchdown line. My teammates started cheering for me except Mustang.

"Very good Edward. I'm impressed. Did you play football at your last school?" Coach Izumi asked me.

"Yeah I was a wide receiver. I can throw and catch the ball better with my left hand though."

"Well we may just put you in for the spot." She said.

Yes! Success! The second day of school and I already made a good impression! Greed tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Please, don't do that again. You look like you are kissing her ass. If she likes you then she may go easier on you and that will not go well with the other players."

Ok… I guess that advice was good.

"Alright! Time to start a practice game! We have our first game in 2 weeks. It's to get you in shape!" Coach Curtis yelled.

Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Additional Notes: Show off ( added by Greed) **

**When do boys PMS? And what is up with the term kissing her ass( added by Al) **

**Just a expression, dude ( added by Greed) **

**Tip #3 ( by Edward Elric and Greed)**

**Don't diss Spongebob squarepants. EVER!**

"Are you still doing that notebook filled with tips? You're just copying Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide!" Winry asked. Winry was a cheerleader so she was getting a break around the time we were.

"No!" I protested. "That show only went into middle school. They could've gone into high school, but no! Nickelodeon had to cancel it. So, I'm finishing what Nickelodeon and Ned started."

"Man, I wanted to see if Ned and Moze got together." Greed added glumly.

"Spongebob is better." Winry muttered.

"Spongebob is a horrible TV show! Don't you EVER mention that filthy name in my presence again!" Greed yelled.

I started laughing my as off. They were both so ridiculous! "Guys, y'all crack me up. But Greed is right. Spongebob is a horrible TV show." Winry hit me with her wrench. God knows where she keeps that thing.

"Shake it up is a pretty bad show too." Greed added.

"Shake it up is a Disney Channel show!" Winry and I yelled in unison. "Ugh, don't even get me started on Disney."

"Hey, what are you three yelling about over here?" Riza Hawkeye, the captain of the cheerleader squad, walked up to us. She didn't look too pleased.

Winry pointed an accusing finger at Greed. "He said Spongebob was a horrible TV show!"

Riza glared daggers at Greed. He actually started shaking. Riza drew back her fists and hit Greed in the face. He fell down on the turf. Riza yelled, "Don't diss the bob! EVER!" Then she walked off like a boss.

**Additional Notes: Bitches be crazy. ( Added by Greed) **

"Al, it's only been the second day! This school will keep getting worse and worse won't it? What was dad thinking sending us here?" I complained.

High School can kiss my ass. I hate it!

"I'm starting to agree with you. I don't think we will make it graduation." Al replied.

"Y'all are just overreacting. I'm a Sophomore. I'm still the underclassman. When you are a Senior then you are top dog. Right now, we are on the bottom of the food chain." Greed said. "Anyway, I like this notebook. Keep adding more, kid."

I nodded. This was only day two. I'd be more surprised to see if I made it to graduation…. HOLY SHIT! "I forgot to go home with Envy! He's gonna kill you Greed! He'll make you go poof!"

Greed and Al sighed.

Yep, I'm pretty sure I won't make to graduation.

Postitve.

**A/N: Poor Eddy. Now, the tip about running in gym class is true. My coach had us run a lot because we talked to our friends or stopped. So, if you have a strict coach like I do then don't talk. Just keep running… easier said than done, right?**

**Al: Exactly. And ignore the second tip. It was random.**

**I'm really tired and in a bad mood so if this chapter sucked, I apologize. Next chapter will be better because Envy, May, and even Ling will come. Plus, there should be more tips. If you have suggestions for tips, please leave it in the reviews ^.^ thank you! **

**Updated: July 31, 2012**


	3. We lost our sanity on the first week!

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I really enjoy reading them ^.^ so this chapter is completely random, but in chapter 4 and 5 I will mix things up a bit! 2 special guests will be coming and you may know them. But anyway, enjoy and I'm taking requests for what you want covered. **

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SONGS IN THIS CHAPTER! And the lyrics may be wrong :P**

**Edward Elric's Guide to High School**

**By Edward and Alphonse Elric**

**Mainly Edward Elric**

**The end of the first week of school**

**Friday and the weekends**

**Tip #1 By Alphonse Elric**

**Don't sit next to the kid who sings Friday or hit songs that you used to love but now find annoying.**

It was Friday and we were in our last period class. It was a study hall and I got tired of doing my Algebra homework so I decided to take a quick nap. Unfortunately, I was stuck sitting next to the kid who sung Rebecca Black's Friday. That's right. The Best Worst Song Ever.

"Sitting in the front seat. Sitting in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat in the car do I take?!" He sang. I think his name was Brosh. He was known for singing popular songs at the worst times.

"You don't take any seat. You fucking walk." I grumbled.

"Alphonse Elric. This is the last time I am warning you. If you keep using profanities then I will suspend you for the rest of the week. Understood?" Mr. Sig said.

"Yes sir." _Kiss my ass _I thought.

Brosh kept singing. "I put my hands up in the air sometimes saying Heyo! Let go!"

"Ok, those aren't even the right lyrics! If you are going to sing Dynamite then get the lyrics right."

"Everytime we touch, I get this feeling. Everytime we kiss, I swear I can fly!"

"No! You are not singing a song by Cascada! No!"

"Baby, you light up my world like nobody else! The way that you flip your hair leaves me overwhelmed."

At that point, I cracked mentally. Brosh just sang a One Direction song. If I don't hate Justin Beiber then I hate One Direction. He crossed the line. I got my history text book, which just happened to be incredibly thick. Brosh never saw it coming. I lifted up my text book and brought it down on his head. Brosh started crying.

"Bitch, I told you to stop singing!" I yelled.

"Al, go to the Principal's Office _now_!"

Well, my Friday had gone well. I'm suspended from school for the rest of next week. Ok, I really needed a break. When dad gets home, he's going to get it.

**Additional Notes: So, that's why you left early. ( Added by May) **

**Haha! Go Al! ( Added by Edward)**

**Tip # 2 By Edward Elric**

**Don't ditch your lab partners for your friends…. **

It was Science class. All week, Envy had been trying to come over my house and tried to get me to go over his house. I found some Dubstep on Youtube and it was kind of weird. But after school I would run home. Thank god Envy has a bad memory and doesn't remember where I live. I definitely dodged a bullet there.

That is until he exploded today. "Edward, you will come to my house and hang out. I saw you with Greed and May! I told you I would make your other friends go poof! Poof I tell ya!"

"Envy, relax. I promise to go to your house today. I won't hang out with other friends."

Good. Because if you ditched me again then I'd have to kill you." He laughed nervously.

Envy was crazy. Man, what did I do to deserve this?! Between Roy Mustang, my father (he's a bastard), homework, football practice, and my crush on Winry my plate was full. I just nodded my head. I hate high school!

"Oh, and I bought seasons 1 and 2 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on DVD. Also, I have Pokémon too."

"Oh!" I was suddenly interested. "Which season?" _Please be Kanto! Please be Kanto! Kanto! _

"I got the Unova region! Isn't that great?" Envy smiled.

No! Anything but the new Pokémon! I felt my mentality crack a bit today.

**Additional Notes: I think you guys need to see a doctor ( Added by May)**

**Tip #3 By Edward and Alphonse Elric**

**Make sure your Mentality is a little bit in check if a girl wants to ask you out. **

Winry and May gave each other puzzled looks. What was wrong with the two Elric brothers? Edward and Al were stumbling out of school. Al kept singing One Direction songs. Ed was reciting all the Pokemon theme songs.

"Pokemon, Pokemon! Diamond and Pearl we can change the world! Pokemon! I wanna be the very best that no one has before. To catch them is my real test. Oh, Bull shit, Ash Ketchup face! You went from catching them all to thinking about friendship. Screw friendship. You slept with all the girls you traveled with! Lucky bastard!"

Winry was horrified. Not because of Ed's condition, but because she really thought Ash slept with all the girls he traveled with.

"Well," May said. "He is supposed to be 24. But apparently he is still 10. Anime can be weird like that."

"Dammit, I wanted to ask Ed out this weekend, but if he's lost his sanity then maybe we could go another time."

"What? You would cheat on your boyfriend?" May screamed. Winry clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhh! Don't want the whole school to know."

"The school does know, idiot!" All the kids outside yelled. Winry blushed and began the walk home. May decided to make sure the Elric's got home safely.

**Additional Notes: I hope they get better ( Added by May)**

Currently, in the Elric household, Al was shaking and in the corner rocking back and forth. Edward was on the computer looking up the full versions to the Pokémon theme songs. She tried to help Al, but he called her a 'Beliber' and told her to get the watering hose. She didn't want to know what to do with that.

May was surprised that they were sane enough to write the two tips in the guide before they went back into their original state. Well, there went her weekend plans.

**Tip #4 by Edward Elric**

**Beat the crap out of your dad when he comes home for sending you to a horrible school! **

…

**Tip #5 By Alphonse Elric**

**Keep your brother from beating the crap out of your dad for sending you to a horrible school. But try to beat the crap out of him yourself. With a watering hose...**

**Tip #6 By Edward Elric**

**Keep a open mind about the second week of school. **

**Sunday: **

It was Sunday night at our house. Al and I recovered from our mental breakdown. Our dad had to go back to the chemistry labs to conduct some tests or something. He's hardly home anyway, so Al and I care for ourselves. We used to live with our mom until she died. Then we had to go live with our dad and go to this stupid school.

If mom was here she would tell us to keep a open mind.

Al sat down on the couch with me and put a earplug in my ear. I recognized the song. It was "The Fighter" by Gym Class Heroes and Ryan Tedder. It was such a good song.

Maybe I can get through the second week.

**A/N: Yeah by the first week Ed and Al had a breakdown. Of course high school isn't that bad, but you know. So, next chapter Ed will have his first football game and Al is still suspended xD **

**So review for Ed and Al. **

**And The Fighter is a amazing song. I just heard it a while ago! ^.^ **

**Updated: August 2, 2012**


	4. ISS, a guide, and two girls!

**A/N: Hello! I want to thank you again for all the reviews. I'm just going to reply to them here :D And one of our special guests is coming in this chapter! I'm excited! :D So, here is chapter 4!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs in this chapter or the special guest. She belongs to Lefay Strent! **

**Edward Elric's Guide to High School**

**By Edward and Alphonse Elric**

**Mainly Alphonse Elric ( just this once Ed!)**

**Wednesday**

**Suspension!**

**Tip #1 By Alphonse Elric**

**Being suspended gives you a lot of time to do whatever you want!**

**But in ISS you get to see sexy pictures of your teacher's wife *wink wink* *nude nudge***

It was 11:00 a.m. I was halfway through the week. However, I would have to go back to school next week. I liked taking a week off. I got to brag about it to Edward, play video games ( Call of Duty, Super Mario, and Pokémon for the win!), sleep in and stay up as long as I wanted. Yep, being suspended was the life.

But, as soon as I got back to school I was going to have a butt load of homework and tests to complete. Ok, I really shouldn't think about that for a while. Anyway, I was in my room playing Pokémon Pearl when I heard my dad knock on the door, asking to come in. What was he doing home at this time of the day?

My dad walked in my room. "Al, I have something to tell you." He looked around the room and seemed hesitant about closing the door. Well, I did beat the man with a watering hose. "I talked to your principal and he said he was willing to let you back into the school."

Shit!

"But, you will be in ISS."

I laughed. "Oh yeah, Ed was in ISS for about a month in seventh grade." ISS is an acronym for In School Suspension. Basically, it was worse than detention. You didn't eat what they served in the cafeteria, Ed told me that he wasn't allowed to use the restroom at all, and you are basically isolated from other kids. It was like detention, but much worse!

"You will be in ISS for another full week. Alphonse," My dad sat down on the bed. "I know it has been tough for you and Ed ever since your mother died and you are just acting out. It's common for most teenage boys."

I was suddenly annoyed. "Well, if I had a good farther figure around then we wouldn't have been so rebellious. Or you could've just left us alone in Resembool where we still had friends. But no! You had to send us to Central High School! So, just for the record, you deserved that beat down Friday. That is all I have to say about it. Now, get out. I'll go get dressed."

My dad looked shocked by my outburst. He stood up and said sadly, "I'm sorry." He left my room. As I got dressed and brushed my teeth, I thought about the seventh grade year. I should've been in sixth, but I skipped a grade. I remember a kid teasing me about how I was goody two shoes. It made me so mad.

That year I vowed to change. I hated being a good boy now. But when mom died I was still a good boy. But it seems like the move to Central and moving in with a complete stranger (my dad) just changed me. I guess I should apologize to dad for being rude. Then again, I did nothing bad so why apologize?

When I got downstairs, my dad was waiting for me. The whole car ride to school he didn't say anything. When we got to school, dad and I walked into the principal's office.

"Hello, Alphonse. You will be going to ISS for the next week. Someone will take you all of your school work and you are to do all of it." Principal Grumman said.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

Principal Grumman and I walked out of the school, around to the back, and we came to a small building. He knocked on the door and a man with black hair, green eyes, and glasses opened up the door. "Oh, so this is Alphonse Elric. Alright, boy, get in here." I walked in and I saw a group of kids who looked like they were about to die. Some were even whimpering.

"I'm Mr. Hughes. Your seat is right over there." He pointed to a seat in the corner. I sat down and looked around the room. The carpet was old and looked to be molding. The walls were also chipped. Oh look, a random ass hole in the wall. Nice. "Now then, let me continue."

Mr. Hughes pulled down a screen that went in front of the board. He had a projector propped up on one of the empty desks. He grabbed a remote and turned it on. A little girl appeared on the screen. "This is my daughter, Elicia! Here are her third birthday party pictures!"

He then started a slideshow. I was about to fall asleep when I got a tap on the shoulder. I looked over and saw a Xingese boy next to me. "I'm Ling. What did you do to get in here?"

"Cussed in Study hall. Brosh kept singing songs then I had a mental breakdown. So, I'm here." I replied.

"That's so cool! I'm here because of several reasons. One: I _accidently _may have hit the cook for lying about cheeseburger day. It was chicken fried steak instead. I HATE chicken fried steak. Two: I got about three panda bears and let them run wild all over the school. And the third reason is because I got in trouble those two times."

Before I could respond, Ling and I stared at awe at the slideshow pictures. There was a picture of a very pretty woman in a very sexy and lacy maids outfit. Mr. Hughes started freaking out and pressed the remote. Woah, now she had a whip! Ling and I started laughing.

Ok, maybe ISS wouldn't be so bad after all!

**Thursday Evening **

**Tip #2 By Edward Elric**

**Whatever your sibling does in other classes will come back to bite you in the butt.**

"Edward you aren't starting." Coach Izumi said.

It was Thursday night and it was our first game against Lior High School. Coach Izumi had been so impressed with my performance. Of course, I was sucking up to her (also known as kissing her ass). That did piss a lot of guys on the team off, but it's just my Elric charm. No one can resist it!

"Why? You said I was." I protested.

Coach Izumi shook her head. "Your brother cussed in my husband's class. You should be a better role model for your brother!"

She was blaming me for Al's potty mouth!? Ok, I have taught him tons of cuss words, but still! "That is so unfair! It's not my fault that he cussed. And blame our dad for not being around enough. You can't take out your husband's wrath on me!"

Coach Izumi's face turned red and she yelled, "How dare you back talk me? That's it! You will not play the next week either! All you had to do was nod your head and say 'yes ma'am'. Now, go sit on the bench."

I stormed out of the locker room. Why was I getting blamed for something that wasn't even my fault?! Al was going to be beat with the watering hose. I sat down on the bench. My backpack was next to me so I took out my tip book and wrote down tip number two. I laughed at what Alphonse wrote.

"Ed, why are you sitting on the bench?" Winry approached me. She was wearing the dark blue cheerleading uniform. Damn, she looked fine.

"I got kicked out the game for this game and the next. I'll be on the bench. Hey, maybe I can become a cheerleader?" I joked. Winry laughed and I couldn't help but laugh too. Something about Winry was different. She made me happy.

"Winry, do you want to go, um, catch a movie Friday?" I asked nervously. Yeah, I know she was dating Roy Mustang, but I don't care! Winry smiled.

"Sure. I want to see the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. I heard it's funny. It'll be fun." Winry walked off and went to go be with her other cheerleaders. My face felt hot and my heart was beating so fast!

"Woo, player, player." I looked up to see Al and his new friend, Ling, laughing at me from the stands. Al had a random cat in his arms.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

**Note to self: Kick Al's ass. **

I put the notebook back in my backpacl. The game was starting and I growled in annoyance. I had to watch Roy Mustang be the star. Dammit, I could be the star up there!

***( A hour later)***

"Cheer up, Ed! At least you get to go on a date with Winry tomorrow! I've been hearing rumors that Roy had been making out with Hawkeye." Ling said. He put an arm around me.

"Yeah, you are right. We should hook you two up with a date." I smiled teasingly at Al. "Maybe you can go with May."

Al's face turned red. Hahaha! I know my revenge now!

Ling had to go home with his brother. I had no idea his brother was Greed!

"Brother, what other tips should we put in the notebook?" Al asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll put some in there for dates and you can put some in for detention. Then we go from there. We should go all the way into our senior year."

Al and I laughed. We still joked every now and then about if we were going to survive high school. I think we could do it. Plus, the tip book was our own little stress reliever.

Yep, maybe we can make it through the year if we had our tip book with us.

***( At the football stadium)***

A girl with shoulder length brown hair was mumbling curse words as she cleaned up the stadium. She really hated this job, but she had to do it for extra credit. What class took cleaning the football stadium after a game for credit? The world may never know.

The girl was down on the field. Some of the football players were complete pigs! They left their crap all over the place. She picked up an empty Cheetos bag and placed it in her trash bag. She then saw something that caught her eye.

The girl walked over to the bench and picked up a note book that said "Edward Elric's Guide to High School". She raised an eyebrow in awe. Was this supposed to be a knockoff of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide?

"Taylor! Come here. Look what I found." The girl called to her friend, who was currently tying up a trash bag. Taylor groaned in response.

"What is it now, Lefay? I swear if you "claim" to have found a coupon to Brownie World…" Taylor stopped talking when she saw the notebook.

"Huh?" Taylor stared at the cover. "A Survival Guide? Why is this clown copying Ned's Survival Guide?"

Lefay shrugged. "Not sure, but I have a feeling I have heard that name. Edward Elric…"

Taylor nodded and put a finger up to her lips. "Edward Elric." She murmured. "Where have I heard that name?"

**A/N: Ok, Taylor is a character in the story called The Blood Alchemist. I guess it's pretty popular. It has over 50 chapters and over 1000 reviews. But if you haven't read it then go read it now! **

**Al: NOW! **

**Anyway, fangirl of FMA requested I do one about detention. So, more tips for that will come later. ISS and detention are the same to me. But Ed and Al need the tip book to keep their insanity….the tip book is gone.**

**Winry: My date won't go well will it?**

**No, it will not because if it did then this story would suck ass. And what Al was saying about being a goody two shoes then changing... yep same thing happened to me. I'm not particuaraly happy about that. **

**Ed: So… um review and let us know what you think…. **

**Greed: And submit requests! **

**Updated: August 4, 2012**


	5. The Ninja Hunting Brigade!

**A/N: Thanks so much for the requests! Next chapter should cover some of the things you guys requested. And tips for partying will be coming soon (Homecoming? I think so!) **

**So, let's see if Ed, Al, Winry, Greed, Ling, and May can get back that tip book ;) **

**Al: Red doesn't own any of the crap mentioned in this chapter. Well, she owns her stupid jokes and words though… and Lefay Strent owns Taylor and herself(?) **

**Anyway, I got this idea for the chapter when I was singing One Direction songs with my mommy in the kitchen while we were cooking turkey burgers… yeah we are weird like that. So here is chapter 5 :D **

**Chapter 5**

**The Ninja Hunting Brigade!**

**Friday: After School**

**Um, this is Lefay and it's after school. We found this survival guide/tip book last night and Taylor and I have been absorbed in it. These poor boys had a breakdown! But, we don't know a Edward or Alphonse Elric. Well, we do plan on turning it in…eventually. **

"Lefay! You are still writing in that thing? It isn't a freaking diary to write down your thoughts in. It's a survival guide. We are supposed to write tips about surviving high school." Taylor said as she came up behind her best friend.

Lefay sighed exasperated. "I _know _that, but it's so interesting. The first week of school these two kids had a mental breakdown. Do you get my point?"

"No." Taylor admitted. She had no idea where her friend was going with this.

"_So_, it'll be easier to find them. Look for the two freshmen talking to themselves and looking like Pikachu just killed their puppy."

"Ok, but are we still going to the movies?" Taylor asked.

"Yes! No one can resist Diary of a Wimpy Kid!"

"And here I thought you loved Twilight." Taylor joked.

"Ugh!" Lefay covered both ears with her hands. "Don't _ever _mention that filth in my presence again!"

***( After School with Ed, Al, Greed, Ling, and May)***

"Al, go get the survival guide. Your brother is having a pissy fit about this date. People definitely need a tip about dating." Greed said.

Edward was going through his various articles of clothing trying to find something to wear for his date with Winry tonight. Their friends were here because they wanted to study for their test on Monday and wanted to see Ed freak out.

Aren't friends the greatest?

_There when you don't need them, but not there when you do need them. _Al thought.

Al went into Ed's room and rummaged through his backpack. Al pulled out all of his text books and notebooks. Then a picture of some very, um, crude images. So crude that I, the amazing author of this fanfic, cannot tell you. Al went through the second smaller compartment on Ed's backpack. It wasn't there either.

Al looked in his brother's desk drawers, underneath the bed ( Al found his algebra homework under there!), and in the closet which was now empty because Ed was hosting his own fashion in his room.

Al dashed back into his room. "Yo, brother, where did you put the tip book?"

Edward turned around with a look of annoyance on his fac. Ed was in boxers, had on a red shirt, and had several ties on him. "Dude, quit calling it a _tip book._ It's a survival guide. And it should be in my backpack."

"Well," Al leaned against the doorframe. "It's not there and I checked all around your room."

Everyone's eyes in the room widened. If it wasn't in Ed's room then… "Check the house! All of it!" May yelled. She did not want to experience the Elric's going through another breakdown like last week. The Elric household was turned upside down as they scrambled to find the survival guide. Couches were turned over, kitchen appliances were in disarray, bedrooms with clothes strewn everywhere.

"Oh my god! We lost it! WE LOST THE TIP BOOK! Baby, you light up my world like nobody else!" Al was going back into his mental state! Ling backhanded Al.

"No, calm the fuck down! You are not losing your sanity!" Ling cried. Greed was also trying to get Edward out of his mental state. The boy was singing Pokémon theme songs again!

"GUYS, SHUT THE HELL UP AND CALM DOWN!" Everyone turned their head to the young Xingese girl. May was always so polite and nice, so seeing her yell like that meant she was serious. When she was sure she had everyone attention, May continued. "Ok, let's think about this. Ed, where was the last place you saw the survival guide?"

Edward put a hand up to his chin. "Um, I think the football stadium. Oh my gate I left it at the football stadium. Do you think we can get in?"

Ling shook his head. "No, students do clean up duty. So somebody picked it up. It may be in Lost or Found or in the wrong person's hands."

Ed breathed a sigh of relief. "Atleast I wrote my information in there just in case it did get lost. Well, Al's information. Like his cellphone number."

"Fuck you brother." Al growled.

***( At Lefay's House)***

"Hahaha! Taylor, look, this fool wrote down his personal information if this notebook got lost. We should totally prank call him." Lefay started laughing like a maniac. Well, she was considered to be off her rocker for quite sometime…

Taylor grabbed her cellphone, dialed in the phone number, and sent a text. She smiled deviously. "Lefay, we are going to have fun messing with some fresh meat's mind."

Taylor and Lefay snickered. "Being a Senior is the bomb!"

***( Back to the Elric Household)***

"Katy Perry's on replay! She's on replay! DJ got the floor to shake! Floor to shake! People going all the way, yeah all the way. I'm still wide awake!"

The music was coming from Al's cellphone. "What! Can I not have One Direction Affection?"

"Huh? I thought it was One Direction Erection?" Greed said dumbfounded.

Al looked at his phone and saw he had a text message. He read aloud:

**Hallo! We got your survival guide. It's very good and the fact that you guys had a mental breakdown is awesome! I give you a virtual high five. *high fives Ed and Al* So, meet us outside the movie theater. **

**-From the Ginja! :3 **

"Bitch please, I'm a freaking Blinja!" Ed yelled.

"A Blinja?" May responded, confused.

"Yeah. A Ginja is a ninja is a ginger. A Blinja is a ninja who is blond. Duh." Ed explained. "But who cares! We are all going to the movie theater. I'll be there with Winry and you guys can be surrounding the area. Look for a ginger. And it sounds like there is more than one of them. Move out, power rangers!"

Edward walked out of the house. Then he walked back in screaming, "I still don't know what to wear!"

***( At the movie theater)***

Winry spotted Ed and her heart skipped a beat. He was wearing jean shorts, a blue South Pole shirt, and his blue Converse. His hair was in a simple pony tail and not in its usual braid. She had to admit that he look pretty handsome.

"Hey, Ed. Uh, you look nice." Winry said. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She dated Roy Mustang and was never this nervous.

"Hi Win. You look nice too." Ed replied, but he was looking around as if he was trying to find someone.

Meanwhile, the _Ninja Hunting Brigade_ ( the name Ed had given them) was placed in various spots around the movie theater. Their goal was to catch the Ginja. Al was placed inside the movie theater. He was hiding behind a huge cut out of Will Ferrel and Zach Galifinakas. After this was over, he really wanted to see The Campaign.

Ling was placed in the arcade because if he was in Al's position then Ling would've raided the popcorn machine already. May and Greed were placed outside the movie theater. There were two entrances at the theater, so May was placed on the left and Greed was on the right. Ed said that if Winry saw them then just say you were meeting a friend.

However, a wonderful thing called a yearbook helped identify the people surrounding the place. Lefay and Taylor were crouching in a bush giggling. "Ok," Taylor pointed to the right entrance. "That is Greed. He's just hanging around here. That means Ed and Al must be here too." Taylor remembered seeing Greed's name in the additional notes section.

"Look!" Lefay pointed to a couple, walking arm in arm, into the movie theater. "That was Winry Rockbell. Is it official her and Roy Mustang broke up?"

Taylor nodded her head. "Yep. Rumor has it that Mustang and Hawkeye were making out in the locker room. Winry dumped his ass. Poor girl."

"Ok, Ginja. Let's move out!" Lefay declared. She got out of the bush and looked around. Greed was looking at her suspiciously. Well, she just came out of a bush. Lefay walked into the movie theater. Greed pulled out his walkie talkie and pressed the button on the side. "Blossom, the Ginja's friend just entered. I repeat the Ginja's friend just entered."

May pressed the button on her walkie talkie. "Roger that, Spike."

Yes, the Ninja Hunting Brigade had to have code names. May scanned her surroundings. There. A girl with a black ski cap was about to walk by her. However, one strand of red hair was peeking out. May grabbed the girls arm and slammed her up against the wall. The girl smirked. "So, you figured me out did you."

"Alright, you damn Ginja, where is the tip book?" May hissed. The Ginja only smiled and said, "The Ginja never reveals her secrets."

May used her free hand and said into the walkie talkie. "I have the Ginja."

It didn't take long for Greed, Ling, and Al to come out there and corner the Ginja. Greed stepped forward. "Alright, girl, where is the tip book?"

The Ginja didn't say anything. Greed realized what was happening. Ed hadn't come out yet. Greed ran back inside the movie theater and saw a girl and Ed pulling on the survival guide. The girl had shoulder length brown hair and her skin color was tan; she was wearing jeans and a T-shirt that said, "There's A Method To My Madness". Greed chuckled. He bet there was a method.

"You are short!" The girl yelled.

"Your eyes are the color of poo!" Ed yelled and tugged harder. The girl tumbled forward and face planted. Ed held up the survival guide in victory. "Hell yeah! Victory is mine Bitch!"

The Ginja ran over to her friend. "Lefay, are you ok?"

Lefay nodded, stood up, and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Well, it seems like we lost the tip book to a bunch of noobs. Let's bounce, Taylor."

Taylor took off her black ski cap and let her red hair come out of hiding. Ed couldn't help but feel like he knew her.

"Hey, Taylor, do I know you from somewhere?" Ed asked as he approached her. Taylor's eyes widened and she seemed to study him.

"Yeah. When I see you I think of blood and a swamp." Taylor admitted.

"Wow, a swamp comes to mind when I see her." Ed pointed to Lefay. "Blood comes to mind when I see you. Are you sure we haven't met?"

Taylor and Lefay giggled. "Maybe in some alternate reality where alchemy is real." Taylor joked. Everyone busted out laughing.

Lefay waved to the Ninja Hunting Brigade. "Goodbye! See ya at school Monday!"

Taylor added, "Yeah and let us add in a tip or two before we graduate."

Lefay and Taylor then exited the movie theater. After they left, everyone was kind of confused. What now? Winry tugged on Ed's sleeve. "Um, let's go on our date tomorrow and get some frozen yogurt now." She suggested.

Murmurs of agreement were heard from the group as they left the movies and went to go get frozen yogurt. Ed and Al high fived. They got the one thing that would help keep their sanity.

**A/N: So, next chapter there will be date tips and I happen to be great at giving relationship advice even though I have no boyfriend :( **

**Al: *pats Red's back* It's fine, Red. **

**But this will not be last time we see Taylor and Lefay! ^.^ **

**Al: Shit! **

**And I loved the ending with Ed, Lefay and Taylor. Ed, Al and Taylor are in the story The Blood Alchemist while Lefay is in a story called Frog War with Ed and Al. It takes place in a swamp xD **

**Update: August 6, 2012**


	6. STOP SPREADING THOSE RUMORS AROUND!

**A/N: Hello! I finished school clothes/supply shopping and I got my cheerleading uniform and I realized how close I am to going to school. O_o**

**When are y'all starting school? :D I start next Tuesday. **

**Anyway, this is a dating/rumor/ tip thing this chapter. I hope you enjoy. Now, let's see how Ed and Winry's date will go…**

**Edward- Freshman**

**Al-Freshman**

**Winry – Sophomore**

**Greed – Sophomore**

**Roy – Junior**

**May – Freshman**

**Ling – Freshman ( held back a year) **

**Riza - Junior**

**Edward Elric's Guide to High School**

**By Edward and Alphonse Elric ( and other unimportant people)**

**Mainly Edward Elric**

**Saturday:**

**Dating and Rumors**

**Tip #1 By Edward Elric. **

**It's good to have that ONE friend who can help you out.**

"So, this shirt or this shirt?" I asked. This is my first date with Winry. Well, yesterday should've been my first date with her, but the Ginja interrupted things. My friends were over for another "study session". I couldn't decide what to wear. Casual? Fancy?

"Oh no! I don't even know what we are going to do on this date!" I yelled. Al sighed.

"Brother, just wear something similar to what you were wearing yesterday. And you two are going to the movies again." Al said then he added, "And why the hell are you putting on a fashion show in _my _room again?"

"Because," Ed answered as he began looking through more shirts.

"Because, _what?" _

"Because you love me, Al!"

May sighed and looked up from her Biology book. "Ed, this is why it's helpful to have female friends. Edward, wear that red shirt with these black shorts. Wear the red or black Converse and you should be fine. Put your hair in a simple pony tail and take out the braid."

I picked out the articles of clothing May suggested and went into the bathroom to change. When I went back into Al's room, Ling whistled. "You're looking sexy, Elric. I'm sure Winry will eye rape you once she sees you."

Greed hit him on the back of the head. "Shut up, you twat!"

May and Al nodded in approval. Ok, I was kind of relaxing now. Alright. Wallet? Check. Cellphone? Check. Money in wallet? Double check.

"Alright, I think I have everything." I declared.

"Go knock 'em dead, sexy!" Ling yelled.

"Thanks May for your help. I'm glad you are the only one here with some damn sense."

May chuckled. "It's no problem. Now, go or you will be late! And when you get back I want details."

I left the house with confidence. Yep, this date had to go well. Dating a cheerleader couldn't be that bad, right?"

**Additional notes: What's a twat? ( Added by May) **

**... No comment. ( Added by Greed) **

**Tip #2 By Edward Elric**

**Have an idea on what to talk about. You don't want a awkward silence date. EVER! **

"Hey Edward!" Winry approached me. She was wearing a jean skirt that ended at her knees and a red tank top. She was so pretty… Oh crap I'm staring. And maybe drooling a little.

"Oh…um… you look..um… beautiful!" Dammit, why the hell did I say _that _of all things? She'll probably think I'm just saying that or something.

Winry's face turned red then she spoke, "So, you ready to see the movie or will there be more ninja hunting?"

"I don't think I'll be seeing anymore of the Ginja for a long time."

We bought our tickets, got our snacks, and went into the movie theater. Winry and I were laughing so hard at the movie. Diary of a Wimpy Kid never failed to amuse me. By the time, we left the theater our sides were hurting.

"Haha! Did you see the look that old woman was giving us? Ha, her face was priceless!" Winry went into another fit of laughter and I joined along. Of course people gave us confused stares but we didn't care.

"Winry, are you ready for dinner?" I asked. It was still early so we could catch a bite to eat.

Winry nodded sure. "Um, sure. Let's go to La Fiesta. It's right across the street."

I did a fist pump. "I love tacos!" I grabbed Winry's hand and we ran across the street. Once we got there, the hostess said the wait was ten to fifteen minutes. Winry and I sat down on one of the benches. She seemed lost in thought about something. Then I realized that I still hadn't let her hand go yet.

An awkward silence filled the air and I started getting all nervous again. Maybe we shouldn't have rushed into a date so fast…

"Um, Winry?" She looked up at me and I could tell something was wrong. "Is something bothering you?"

Winry nodded. "Y-yeah. We can talk about it when we get our table."

Oh no! Maybe she didn't like me! Maybe she doesn't want to date someone a year younger than her! Maybe she thinks I'm ugly…

BWHAHAHA! I'm too sexy. That can't be it! Woo, I crack myself the hell up!

Eventually the waitress came over and took us to a booth. We ordered our drinks and food. Winry fiddled with her hands until she spoke, "I take it you heard about Roy, Riza, and me?"

**Additional notes: And this is where shit got real (Added by Lefay and Taylor) **

**Tip #3 By Edward Elric**

**If a girl wants to go out with you right after she breaks up with her boyfriend then you are probably a rebound. You get permission to sulk, be angry about it and have ice cream therapy. **

I nodded my head and she continued, "W-well, I'll tell you what really happened. Earlier this week, after school, I was going into the girls locker room to get my notebook for English class. I caught Roy and Riza making out. He told me that he liked me at first, but his heart always belonged to Riza. So, he dumped me. Riza and I have been fighting all week and she is starting to make the other cheerleaders turn against me. Now, rumors are spreading all over the school about all three of us. In a way, I was just a stupid fling to Roy."

She finished her story and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. In a way, boys have it much easier than girls. But then I realized something.

"Am I just a rebound? You are just using me to get over Roy temporarily, aren't you?"

"Ed-" she began but I cut her off.

"Answer the fucking question, Winry."

A few tears spilled out of her eyes and she murmured, "yes."

Ok, I have a pretty bad temper. So, when she told me that I couldn't help but be pissed off and a little offended. She used _me. _Edward freaking Elric as a rebound. I didn't like it at all! So, I left her at the restaurant. I walked out of there like the sexy boss I am.

Shit, I didn't get my tacos!

***( The Elric Household)***

"A-a-and then she said she was just using me! I don't like being used, May chan!" Yeah, I was crying. Piss off. I was doing it like a boss so it didn't matter.

I was crying in May's lap as she ran her fingers through my hair. Al was sitting on the bed playing Pokémon Heart Gold, Ling and Greed were watching a movie on the computer which I have a feeling was porn, but I was crying too much to care.

"Al, can you get some ice cream? Your big brother needs ice cream therapy. And Greed go grab a movie. We are staying in tonight!" May declared.

Al came back with two flavors of ice cream; Strawberry and Cookie Dough flavor. Greed came back with the movie, Dear John. Great, a chick flick and ice cream. Man, I feel like such a girl right now.

Ling, Greed, Al, and I got the movie in the DVD player and the movie started playing. Great, the first scene is about Channing Tatum going on about pennies. I mean, seriously, whose last thought is about fucking pennies? If I was shot my last thought would be about tacos.

A hour passed and Greed and Ling broke down crying. "W-why? Why can't Savannah and John be together? Why are you with that old guy? John wants you because he's staring at you naked! Come on!"

"Shut the hell up! It ain't real! It's a stupid chick flick and…." Then Al started crying. By the time the movie was over, I felt so much better.

"Thanks May for the ice cream therapy. I feel so much better now."

May smiled. "You are very welcome, Eddy."

**Additional Notes: Wow Dear John? You underclassman are soooo pathetic! ( Added by: Lefay) **

**I'm sorry, Eddy. I'll make you brownies to make you feel better ( Added by Taylor) **

**Tip #4 By Everyone (by everyone I mean: Greed, Ling, May, Al, Lefay, and Taylor)**

**Rumors will fly in highschool but when they are about people close to you, never give up on them! **

***( Math Class)* **

"Yeah, did you hear?"

"Yep, Winry and Ed totally went on a date."

"Man, what is with her? She breaks up with Roy Mustang and goes on a date with a _freshman?_

"I don't know. That freshman boy was kind of cute."

"More like hot."

"Dude, maybe he got in her pants!"

"Man, when do freshman get moves like that?"

"The hormones in this school amaze me."

May was trying really hard to focus on her work, but she couldn't help but hear the whispers of all the girls and boys in her class. The topic had been about Winry, Riza, Mustang, and Ed. The teacher didn't notice or care about the whispering going on. May wanted to jump to Ed's defense and claim that the rumors weren't true. After all, they thought Winry and him did, um, _the dance with no pants_.

May sighed and continued her work. Better to stay out of it.

***( ISS)***

"Elric!" A boy put his arm around Al and said, "so is it true your brother banged Winry?"

Al gasped. "No, who the hell told you this? That is so not true at all. Brother was home with me and my friends Saturday night!"

The boy put his hands up in defense. "Yo, chillax homey. I was simply asking you a question. That's the rumor."

"How long do rumors last around here?" Al asked.

The boy shrugged. "I guess until something big happens and it takes it away from the rumor now."

Al was annoyed. His brother and Winry's reputation were being destroyed. He had to do something quick before things got out of hand.

***(Locker room)***

Edward noticed the pointing fingers, whispers, giggles, and recognition he had been getting for most of the day. He was about to put on his gear for football practice until someone slammed him up against the locker.

Roy Mustang snarled at him. "What do you think you are doing sleeping with my girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? You fucking cheating on her! And we did not sleep together. Now get out of my face!" Edward shoved Roy Mustang and he stumbled backwards. Roy was about to hit Ed in the jaw, but he ducked just in time.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" All the football players yelled. Edward was getting into his stance to attack Roy until the door slammed open.

"What are you mongrels doing?! Everyone go run 67 laps around the field! Then I want to see you two," Coach Izumi pointed to Ed and Roy, "in my office. We are going to have a little talk."

Ed and Roy sent final glares to each other then everyone left the locker room to go jog around the field.

***( Cheer practice)***

As soon as she walked in everyone stopped whispering and all eyes were on her. Winry sat down on the bleachers and began to change into her cheer shoes. All the females in the room were snickering and pointing to her. Winry felt tears in the back of her eyes. What had she done to deserve this?

Oh yeah it was stupid Riza and Roy Mustang! Speak of the devil… Riza walked into the room. Everyone's eyes fell on them, but Winry and Riza were to busy glaring at each other to notice. Winry spoke first, "I hope you are happy. You got the whole student body talking about me and how I slept with a freshman."

Riza's face went from mad to furious. "Oh, you are having a hard time? I am the one dealing with people asking me, "'are you easy?'" or "'When's the baby due?'" People think I'm pregnant!"

"Well," Winry smirked. "Maybe you should think about that before you fool around with someone else's boyfriend! And I know you spread those rumors about me and Ed."

"Well, the truth had to be told. How little miss perfect is in fact a _slut. _"

Half of the cheerleaders gasped and the other half laughed. Winry had never been so embarrassed in her life. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she ran out of the gym.

***( After School at the Elric Household)***

"Ok, to squash these rumors we need to plan something big!" Edward declared. He then pointed to the two seniors in the room. "Just why the heck are they helping us?!"

Al sighed irritably. "Brother, they are upperclassmen. You are even lucky that they are going to help."

"Yeah, I heard about poor Winry. She left school early today. I never liked Riza anyway! She rubbed me the wrong way." Lefay said.

"And rumors aren't cool if they aren't about one of my pranks. So, here is what we will do to squash this rumor. We are going to plan a huge prank." Ling said.

"Um, what kind of prank?" May asked uncertainly.

Ling smiled devilishly. "Oh, you'll see real soon."

**A/N: Pretty serious chapter! I thought I might as well tackle the whole rumor thing. This is also bullying too so it can be under this category. But the gang decided to do something to distract the student body away from Winry and Edward. **

**Oh, 8 days left of summer :( but I'm excited for high school! :D **

**STILL TAKING REQUESTS! but first I gotta get past the whole prank thing. So, if you guys have any ideas for pranks let me know. **

**Ugh and my friends are going to six flags tomorrow and didnt even think about inviting me! What jerks -_- well, may get a update tomorrow because i have no social life now -_-**

**Updated: August 13, 2012 **


	7. Pranks Galore!

**A/N: Hey, sorry if this chapter sucks. I'm in a bad moon. sorry -_- **

**Thanks for the reviews! **

**Oh check out the poll on my profile please. I'd appreciate it. A lot.**

**Tuesday: **

**Pranks Galore**

**Prank's **

**By Ling Yao ( and other unimportant people)**

**Mainly Ling Yao**

**Tip #1 by Ling Yao. **

**It takes a group of people to pull of a great prank... RECRUIT! **

***(Edward)***

I sat down next to Envy. He completely ignored me. I was sure he was going to kill me for ditching him since... the first day of school. I wanted to back out, but Ling said that we needed more people. Hell, I don't even know what they are planning. Well, it's worth a shot.

"Hey Envy, budddy ol' pal, amigo, nakama! What's up home skillet biscuit!?" I greeted cheerfully. Envy cast me a side ways glance and mumbled, "What do you want? You need condoms?"

"NO!" I yelled. All my classmates stared at me. Great now more rumors would go around about how I have random outburtsts in class. I dropped my voice to a whisper, "Envy, I-we- need your help. Just hear me out."

Envy sighed and turned to face me. "Alright, what is it Elric?"

"Well, to distract ourselves from the rumors several of my other friends and I are going to pull a prank."

Envy's eyes widened. "A prank?" He whispered. "If Ling Yao is behind this then you are in for a world of hurt, Elric."

"Huh, why? What's wrong with Ling's pranks?" I asked skeptically.

Envy rolled his eyes. "You are friends with that bastard and you don't know? Ugh, who else is helping you?"

"Al, May, Greed, Taylor, Lefay..."

"WHAT?" Envy screamed which caused our classmates to stare at us again. He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Are you fucking insane? You have Ling Yao and Taylor and Lefay? This will end in disaster! Listen, what they pull may seem like a prank when in reality it's much worse than that."

"Please, you are overreacting. Plus, if it gets people off of Winry's and I's back then I sure as hell will do it."

Envy sighed. "Whatever dude." Before I could say anything more, the teacher walked in.

"Hello, students. The principal feels the need to educate you guys about safe sex." Everyone's eyes turned to me. The teacher continued, "So, we will watch a video about safe sex, hormones, and other, um, stuff. Enjoy. I'll be reading One Piece because anime is more educational."

"It's manga you idiot!" A random student yelled, but the teacher didn't pay attention. I groaned. This really sucks.

I wanted to read One Piece too...

***( P.E.)***

"LIFT FUERY LIFT. I'VE SEEN BABIES WITH MORE MUSCLE THAN YOU!" Coach Armstrong yelled. Yeah, she was back. Fuck my luck. Hahaha that ryhmed... because I'm going the time... Ok, I'll stop now.

Ling told me the plan. It was going to be traumatizing, but it would be worth it. I needed someone with control to the AV club. Kain Fuery happened to be that person. Fuery was lifting up the weights and he looked like he was about to have a fallout. I ran over to his bench and helped him put the weight up. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks Al. Coach Armstrong seemed to think everyone needed a spotter except me. So, what's up?"

I rubbed the back of my head. "Well, my brother needs help with clearing up the rumors. So, we plan to pull a prank and we need someone with-" Fuery stared smiling evilly.

"Oh, say no more. I've done stuff for Ling. Just tell him to meet me after school. By the way, aren't you supposed to be in ISS?"

I shook my head. "They let me out early for good behavior or some crap like that. But l have a feeling we will all be in there once this is over." I replied.

***( In the hallways)***

"Lang Fan." I called. She turned around and glared at me.

"What do you want, May Chang?" She asked coldly. I sighed. "Look I know you don't like me, but Ling needs your help."

"Master Ling and I are no longer involved." She said, but a blush was evident on her face. Man, why did I have to talk to her? We hate eachother!

"Ok, fine. But Ling wants to meet you after school. We'll be in the ISS room." With that said and done I walked away.

***( After School****)***

**ISS ( Maes left to go home by the way.)**

"Welcome everyone! You are here because of your unique abilities! Now, I'm the boss around here so you will listen to me. Al will pass out a very detailed plan about this prank."

Al began passing out papers with a map of the school on it. The map had red arrows, escape routes, and other essential things. Envy and Lan Fan gasped at the plan while everyone else stared in awe or laughed.

"This is going to be epic!" Taylor squealed. "Ling you are the master of pranks! You should get a fucking gold medal or something."

Ling bowed. "Thanks I try my best."

"So, this will make the whole school forget about the rumors?" Ed asked hopefully.

Ling nodded. "Yep, when this prank is over no one will even know who you are."

"But when will this prank take place?" Fuery asked.

"This Friday. Next week is Spirit Week. We might as well get Winry's reputation in check by the time Homecoming rolls around." Ling put his hands on his hips. "This will be perfect."

"More details will come in the following week. You are dismissed." Lefay said.

Everyone left the room. Edward was almost out the door until Envy grabbed his hand. "Oh no you don't. You are coming with me now!"

"NOOOOO!" Ed yelled.

Well, it looks like Edward was going to have another breakdown.

**Ed: You are cruel, Red. So cruel!**

**Well, this made my mood a bit better! I feel the need to start a another fanfic now... I think a Hetalia Manuel fanfic would be cool ^.^**

**Al: -_- ok just review**

**Ling: Because the awesome prank is next chapter! **

**CHECK OUT THE POLL ON MY PROFILE PLEASE! THANK YOU! **

**Updated: August 15,2012 **


	8. Le Humping Turkeys?

**A/N: Hello! Just a shout out to Maruki Shitochi! She apprently likes Ed being tortured xD But shout out to everyone for reviewing! **

**Oh, and I got a pink highlight in my hair even though I wanted Red...anyway! Enjoy~**

**By the way, this chapter will mention something kind of sexual. I watched a movie called "Our Family Wedding" and a scene in this will be similar to a scene in that movie. It isn't any thing bad really. so um yeah...awkward? Haha continue reading! **

**Friday: **

**Pranks Galore Part 2!**

**Edward Elric's Guide to Surviving High School**

**By Edward Elric and other unimportant people**

**Mainly Edward Elric**

_**Dear Survival Guide, **_

_**I am currently being held in Central Jail. Why you wonder? Oh because I found out what Envy meant about Ling's pranks. **_

_**Ling's Pranks = DESTROYING SCHOOL PROPERTY! **_

**_Yeah, that is why I am currently in a jail cell. Well, at least this distracted the whole school from the rumors for a while. Winry owes me a taco for helping her ass out._ **

_**Alright, time to make my one phone call. **_

_**Edward freaking Elric. BOOYAH! **_

***( Friday Morning)***

**5:30 a.m. **

"Al, why do we have to be here so early?" I moaned. I was still sleepy. Al splashed water on me and told me to get my lazy ass up. Isn't he the best brother in the world?

Al sighed. "Brother, you wanted these rumors to stop so deal with it."

I chose not to reply and just decided to fume on the sidewalk outside of the school. One by one everyone arrived. I was surspried May actually got the two turkeys. They were in a tiny cage and were making a ton of noise.

No one could enter the school yet because a gate was in front of it. The janitor came in and opened up the gates around this time. It also happens that the janitor is Lan Fan's grandfather. He's in on the pranks too. From what Lefay told me is that he always calls in sick so he won't have to clean the pranks up.

"Mr. Fu! Nice of you to come." Ling greeted the old custodian as he began unlocking the gate. He grunted in response.

"Alright, the administration will be here around six or six thirty. You don't have much time. Get moving." Mr. Fu said.

"Thank you! Trust me this prank will be the bomb diggity!" I exclaimed. Ling opened up the gates and we entered the school.

"Alright, do we need to go over the plan one more time?" Ling asked. Everyone nodded. "Alright. Lefay and Taylor, go clog the girl's bathrooms with toilet paper. Then take the remaining toilet paper and teepee all the classrooms down this hall. Go."

Lefay and Taylor nodded and scampered off. Ling continued, "Al and Envy go clog the boy's bathrooms with toilet paper. Take the remaining toilet paper and teepee the classrooms down the other hallway. Lan Fan and Fuery go to the AV room and switch the DVD's. May and Ed come with me."

We went to go do our assingments. Ling led us to the principal's office. He got a key out of his pocket ( does he have a key for everything?!) and unlocked the door. Principal Grumman's office was perfectly clean. It would be a mess after we are done with it. Ling smirked and pulled out a white pill bottle. He eyed me skeptically. "Are you sure these work?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, they work. I learned about them when we got a sex ed lecture in Biology. I think they are supposed to make men want to have sex or something... Ah, just use them! It should work. They are male turkeys right, May?" She nodded her head and said, "Um, these won't hurt them will they?"

"No, they are fine. After all they are turkeys!" Ling opened up the bottle and poured out two pills. He handed them to the turkeys and they began to bang against the cage. May opened up the cage and let the turkeys let loose. We watched in horror as they began to attack different things. No, more like humping them...

"Ok, we have horny turkeys. Lovely." I commented sarcastically. The turkeys turned there attention toward us and began to squack loudly. Ling, May, and I ran out of the office. The turkeys were still heard banging through the door.

"Alright, that's done and done. Now, just kind of hang out away from school until students start coming in. I'll be in the ISS room. See you guys at the assembly." Ling said and he left the school. May and I exited through the entrance and found Lefay, Taylor, Envy, Lan Fan, Fuery, Greed and Al all waiting outside.

"'Bout time you showed up! How was it?" Greed said.

"Oh, the real action doesn't start until this afternoon." I smirked. This was gonna be awesome!

But I forgot to explain. We were having a assembly because word of Riza and Winry's rumors got to the superintendent, so he's coming to lecture us about bullying. When I was in Resembool, every year we had to watch a video about bullying. Even though the videos were heartbreaking, they didn't really do anything. Bullying still exists much to everyone's displeasure.

"Hey!" Al exclaimed. "Let's go pick up some donuts! Then we can come back here. The school should be open then, right?" Everyone agreed and we began to walk to Shipley's Donuts. I got two Bullseyes and one chocolate glazed donut. Al got some jelly filled donuts which he refused to share with me, but shared with May. Ok, my next objective is to get those two together ASAP!

After we finished eating, we all walked back to school. As soon as we walked in, there was already chaos. Students and teachers were crowded around the bathrooms. Teachers stumbled out of the classroom wet, covered in toilet paper and chocolate syrup. I sent Lefay a confused look and she said, "What? I was in a good mood so I added a bucket of water and chocolate syrup."

Mr. Sig stumbled out of his classroom with a bucket on top of his head and he was covered head to toe in sprinkles. I heard Al mutter, "The motherfucker deserved it."

The next thing sent our group into a fit of laughter. "THERE ARE TURKEYS HUMPING MY LEGS!"

Principal Grumman stumbled out of his office and sure enough there were turkeys humping his legs. He ran around in circles, but they just kept going. May and I high fived. Principal Grumman then yelled, "CLASSES ARE CANCELED! CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS UP AND WE WILL STILL MEET IN THE AUDITORIUM! DISMISSED!" All the students cheered and began to go to the classrooms and help clean up the mess. Yep, this day was the bomb diggity.

***( The Assembly)***

After todays massive clean up and declogging of the toilets, we all gathered in the auditorium for the assembly. I spotted Winry in the back row. She didn't look to well. Her eyes which were usually so bright and cheerful were dull and lifeless. I saw May and Sheska talking to her. I was sitting next to Envy, Ling, and Greed. I believe Al was with Fuery. Man, this was going to freak everyone out so much.

Principal Grumman took his place at the podium as he spoke, "Now, students I'm sure you are all aware of the rumors and bullying going on around here. We will watch a 30 minute documentary about the effects of bullying and have our superinentendent, Mr. Bradely, speak to you all." A screen rolled down and I was sure the AV club was putting the movie in.

The movie appeared on the screen. The title screen was "The Pizza Delivery Guy." The scene began and a handsome pizza delivery guy knocked on the door of a apartment. A girl wearing revealing clothing opened the door and was sucking on a lollipop. The pizza guy said, "I'm here for your order." The girl let the pizza guy in. The girl exclaimed, "Now, did you bring my _cheese sticks?_"

The pizza guy grinned. "Oh yeah I brought your cheese sticks!" He began to unzip his pants until the scene faded out. There were a bunch of moans from the boys and girls in the auditorium. The screen came back on and it showed Ling. He was smiling innocently.

"Hello Central High School! I hope you enjoyed this mornings prank done by yours truly. But I couldn't have done it with out my friends." The credits rolled and it featured all of our names and how we participated. Of course, May, Ling, and I were featured as the people who dealt with the horny turkeys. Then Ling appeared on the screen again and said, "I hope you enjoyed this prank, Central High. Stay Sparkly!" The video shut off and out of no where glitter fell down from the ceiling.

I punched Ling and yelled, "Why did you tell everyone that it was us?!" Ling smirked. "I sure as hell wasn't gonna go down for this one. You are all coming with me!"

I was about to punch Ling again until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and came face to face with the superintendent. "I HATE glitter. What you did today is actually destruction of school property. Therefore you shall be arrested. Now come on..."

_**And that is how I ended up in a jail cell Friday night. **_

_**Man, high school sucks**_

**_But that prank was pretty fucking funny._ **

**A/N: Ok, so humping turkeys, porn, clogged toilets... yeah this was a sucessful prank. xD Anyway, I'm gonna get some brownies that I just made and go watch a movie called The Car. **

**Updated: August 17, 2012**


	9. Groundedand breaking the fourth wall

**Greed: So, Red how was your first day of highschool?**

**-_- Man, this year will suck. It's not living up to my expectations. I feel for Ed and Al now :(**

**Ed: That's what you get!**

**Ok, so ready for GROUNDING TIME?! By the way, I'm glad you liked the Humping Turkeys. They shall be back, I promise! :D **

**Thanks for the 40 reviews :D **

**Edward Elric's Guide to Surviving Highschool**

**By Edward and Alphonse Elric**

**Mainly Edward Elric because he is boss**

**But his brother Al is cooler and better looking...**

**But Edward has better hair**

**How to Survive being grounded**

**Tip #1 By Alphonse Elric**

**You expected this and you did the right thing by hiding all of your electronics!**

"Ed, quit complimenting yourself like that. I am cooler and better looking." I said.

"Mom says I was handsome." Ed countered.

I smirked. "And she said you were a accident too..."

"DADDY AM I A ACCIDENT!?" Edward whined.

"Quiet both of you." Our dad snapped at us. We gulped and kept our mouths shut. Our dad just bailed us out of jail and he was beyond pissed. We were in the car on our way home. Ed had the survival guide and we were about to put in tips on how to survive being grounded, but Ed kept complimenting himself.

Anyway, the car ride was extremely awkward. The music on the radio wasn't on and my dad had a expressionless face. It made me nervous, but yet I wanted to laugh so badly. Then Ed whispered, "Turkeys." I couldn't help myself but start laughing. The whole "THERE ARE TURKEYS HUMPING MY LEGS!" line was the best thing I have ever heard anyone say.

The car rolled out of the driveway and my dad told us to get out. We walked into the house and he sat us down on the couch in the living room. Lecture time here we come.

"I want you to hand over your electronics. I will be keeping them locked up and you will not have them for three months. No IPod, Nintendo DS, TV, Computer, Xbox, and cellphones."

"But what if I'm kidnapped and need to call you for help?" Ed whined.

"What if we need to do a report? Plus, I need my music! Music helps me concentrate!" I yelled.

"Don't talk back to me. Now, go get your electronics and bring them to me."

"I lost my Nintendo DS last week so I can't give it to you." I replied. Actually, it was hidden in the back of my closet safe and sound. Also, my IPod. Yep, my babies were safe.

"Oh?" My dad raised a eyebrow. "If I go in the back of your closet, it won't be back there?"

Shit.

I bolted up from the couch and ran into my room with my dad and Ed hot on my heels. Somehow ( I don't know how he did it), he beat me to my room and yanked open my closet where my Nintendo Ds and IPod were on. My dad flipped open my Nintendo DS and saw my Pokemon game, which I neglected to save, was still on.

"Dad, wait! I'm about to catch a Shiny Palkia and I want to get it so I can trade it with people from Japan." I pleaded. He was still looking at the screen then he did the unthinkable. He took out my game. All my progress...everything was now gone. I fell to my knees in shock as dad took the rest of me and Ed's stuff. When my dad left the room, Ed patted me on the back.

"There, there, little brother. It's ok."

"No, it's not. We still have to hear our punishment Monday and that's the week of Homecoming! Plus, we will be trapped in this house. We have no communication to the outside world. The zombie apocolypse could be starting and we wouldn't know it! The author of this story could blow up this whole country and we wouldn't know it and-"

Ed slapped a hand over my mouth and started widly looking around. Oh crap, I can't believe I broke the fourth wall! Red is going to kill me. We stayed like this for a few minutes, frozen, looking around. She could show up any minute...

**Tip #2 by Everyone involved this**

**DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL! EVER!**

**...**

**Tip #3 By Edward Elric**

**If you don't want to do chores, then act like you don't know how to do them**

**(A/N: My friend said she did this with her mom and it worked, but I don't recommend trying to do this because it wouldn't work with me)**

"Dad, what's this?" I asked him. I was holding up a vaccum cleaner. I figured playing stupid would make him do the work for me. See, Al and I had to do chores for our punishment. Al was currently cleaning the toilets and I had to vaccum every room in the house.

My dad sighed and rubbed his temples. "Edward, that's a vaccum. I'm pretty sure your mother taught you what that was and how to use it."

I acted like I was hurt by his comment. "Well, that's a little sexist. Maybe you should know how to use this contraption thingy. So, teach me!"

My dad sighed and showed me how to use the vaccum. I would do it all wrong and he would have to show me again. Finally, he got fed up and decided he would do it. Mission Accomplished!

Al came downstairs and claimed he was done with the bathrooms. Seeing as dad was busy, Al and I went up to our rooms to discuss plans for Homecoming.

**A/N: Sorry, for the dissapointing chapter. I didn't have it in me to write this well sorry :( Next chapter we will see what the superintendent's punishment for them will be and then Homecoming where shit happens! Heck yeah!**

**Man, but I really don't like my freshman year, but its only been one day so I'll try to be optomistic -_-**

**Updated: August 21, 2012**


	10. Filler: Meet Mr Preston & Preview

**A/N: ...**

**Ed: Just say it...**

**I really hate highschool -_- pssh and too think i was excited :P **

**But for this chapter it's a filler chapter and I just had to write this. I have a teacher who tells a bunch of stories, but hardly teaches. Plus, he used a computer for the VERY first time last year. Anyway, I'm not using his actual name. Because that would just be rude of me. I'm not bashing him, honestly. **

**Greed: You wrote a story about humping turkeys. you choose to be mature now? **

**um yeah? Anyway, here is Mr. Preston! **

Ed, Al, and May were walking to their World Geography class. They didn't want to go because of Mr. Preston. Who is Mr. Preston you wonder? Well, he's a very old guy ( over seventy!) who likes to talk...Alot. Of course, this pissed the trio of friends off greatly. They weren't learning anything except this guy's life story!

They got into the classroom and sat down in their assigned seats. The class chattered and scrambled to do their last minute homework.

Then Mr. Preston came in.

He took the role call and began the lesson. "Ok, so open your books to twenty-three and we will learn about relief maps. These are good to use when you are near the border of Aerugo." He took a deep breath and stared at the class meaningfully. Everyone knew this was going to be another story. Al tried not to groan.

"When I was born in Halo, Aerugo, in 1938**(1)** we didn't have these types of maps. Not a lot was known about Aerugo's shape until the 1960's when Harry the Fifth explored the land. Of course, you can just you your IPad now as a map, but I like using maps. Have I ever told you guys that the very first time I used a computer was last year?"

Then he blinked, stopped, and realized that he got off topic. He cleared his throat and continued the lesson. "Erm, Allyson read the first paragraph."

Al clenched his fists and tried not to yell. No matter how many he times he told Mr. Preston his name, he still wouldn't remember it! Al read the first paragraph and when he was done Mr. Preston told his famous Hackberry Tree story**(2). **

"I was living out in Dublith, it was a little bit after the Ishvalan War of Extermination. I lived in a nice little country house out in Dublith and there was this huge, old hackberry tree in my yard. I wanted to cut the tree down, but the police force said I couldn't. Well, one day a huge storm came in and guess what happened to that tree?"

No one answered. Everyone knew what happened.

"It fell down, tore up my neighbor's fence, and broke the gas line. I had insurance and it covered the damages done. But the police force then told me I should have cut it down! So, next time someone has a hackberry tree, I'll tell them to cut it down."

May then began to imagine what would happen if she got a Hackberry tree and hit Mr. Preston on the head with it.

The rest of class dragged on with Mr. Preston teaching, but mostly telling stories. When Mr. Preston began talking about his life Drachma, Ed finally fell asleep. Al snuck in his cell phone and was messaging Ling and Greed on Facebook. May was trying to write down notes, but she could hardly care about maps.

Mr. Preston then told one of his other stories he told numerous times about how he got in a car accident **(3). **May swore that she heard that story three times in one class period. Then...

"It's just like the Hackberry tree. It tore up my neighbor's fench and tore my gas line and-"

May cracked.

"I don't care! We heard this story a million times and I don't care about that stupid ass tree! Why don't you fucking teach for once instead of telling your life story!?" May yelled.

Ed snickered and he took out his survival guide.

**Tip #1 By Edward Elric**

**No matter how annoying a teacher is, try not to tell them off. Like sweet innocent May Chang just did. **

**Poor Mr. Preston :( **

Mr. Preston was astonished. No one in all of his years in teaching had gone off on him like that. He strided over to May's desk and put his hands on his hips. "Now, it has always saddened me to see young ladies use dirty language. When I was growing up-"

May stood up and stomped over to the door. "Fuck those "Growing Up" stories." Then she left.

Al laughed and soon everyone else in the class was laughing.

Mr. Preston glared at the class and they soon quieted down. He then began to lecture the class ( mainly the girls) on how young ladies should be proper.

**A/N: Sucky chapter I know, but I had to get it out. Anyway, here's a preview of next chapter! Homecoming will be...interesting. **

***( Preview)***

"Hold on, Principal Grumman, you can't be serious! Why do we have to go to school with _them?" _Lust yelled.

You'd think the school had enough assemblies, but with the bomb shell just dropped everyone was on edge.

You'd think after seven years everyone would have forgive and forget the Ishvalan War of Extermination, but of course racial tension was still rising. Ed wasn't prejudice against the Ishvalan people, but he felt sorry for them. He knew that the Ishvalan people hated Amestrians.

The fact that a huge group of transfer students from Ishval were coming to their school was a shocker. Principal Grumman tried to talk, but a riot started. Ed, Ling, Greed, and Winry ran out of the auditorium. Winry gasped.

"I-I can't belive everyone is this prejudice against the Ishvalans! This Homecoming week was supposed to be fun, but now it's ruined." Winry said.

Ling nodded. "Yeah, well what are we to do? Amestrians and Ishvalans have never gotten along. The superintendent didn't even want this to happen, but the Furher ordered him too."

Greed shrugged. "Well, let's just hope for the best. I'm not going to get involved in it. I just want to enjoy Homecoming week, win the Homecoming game, then do whatever."

Ed nodded. "I second that notion."

Greed and Ling began to walk out of the school doors. Ed was about to follow them until Winry grabbed his arm.

"Um, can we talk for a second?"

**A/N: (1) He was born in 1938 in somewhere in Kansas. He told us all about his mom and dad and everything. I can seriously write a biography on that dude. **

**(2) The Hackberry tree story is pretty accurate. I can quote it word for word basically. **

**(3) Car accident story I have hard 2-3 times. Can quote that word for word. **

**These were only some of the stories my teacher tells us. In other chapters I will tell more. **

**I'm not bashing my Geography teacher. The stories annoy me, but it beats doing class work so I just go with him. He's grown on me. kind of. **

**Anyway, i'll try to update sometime this weekend! **

**Happy Labor Day!**

**Updated: 9/3/12**


	11. Homecoming Week Part 1

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! Highschool is getting a bit better, but I still don't like it. So, our Homecoming is next month in October, but I'm having Central's highschool in September because I want it to be.**

**Jeez, and now that I'm REALLY in High School I can write the drama, romance, and antics a million times better xD **

**Edward Elric's Guide to High School**

**By Edward Elric and his friends!**

**Mainly Edward Elric because he's a boss**

**Tip #1 By Edward Elric**

**It's Highschool. Nothing should surprise you anymore.**

"WHAT!?" I yelled.

Ok, we were all in the superintendent's office to get our punishment for the prank. Then it turns out Greed, Ling and Superintendent Bradley are related!

Then there father is the freaking Furher of Amestris! But did they think about telling us that? Noooo! Lying bastards.

Ling laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah and Lust is our sister. Envy is our brother too, but the funny thing is we all hate each other and don't even live together. Father had to separate us all."

Greed laughed. "Well, Ling, they are our _half _siblings. But we all hate each other so we try not to talk or interact as much as possible."

Envy sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Yeah, what they said."

Lefay laughed and poked me in the side. "Jeez, Edward, like, everyone knew that. You are so out of the loop."

Everyone in the room began to tease me about being out of the loop. Those motherfuckers shall pay for keeping me out of the loop!

"Alright, settle down. We still have your punishment. Now, I hate glitter. So, you can either clean the auditorium every Saturday morning for the rest of this year or you can let turkeys hump your legs. Your choice."

Wait what?

"Hold up," Taylor said. "We can clean or let turkeys hump our legs?"

Superintendent Bradley nodded. "That is exactly what I'm saying."

"Bring on the humping turkeys!" Taylor and Lefay exclaimed.

Oh, gate. Karma truly is a bitch.

***( After the turkey ordeal)***

Never again. Every time I see turkey or hear the word turkey, I will have a mental breakdown again.

Anyway, today was the first day of Homecoming week. Today was Crazy Day. I had on yellow skinny jeans, a red afro wig on and a black cowboy boot on my left foot and a green Converse on my right foot. Al said I looked like a homosexual clown.

Al had on purple crocs and a green wig that went to his shoulders. He had tied them up into pigtails. May gushed about how adorable he was and my little brother blushed. Aww, I can't wait to get those two together!

Anyway, Principal Grumman called another assembly. On the way there a few people gave Al, May, and I high fives and complimented us on our awesome prank. The prank of the year is what it's called. At least this got the rumors about Winry and I to be done with.

Al and May had gone to talk to a few of their other friends about homework. I sat down next to Ling and Greed. Surprisingly, Winry sat down next to me.

"Hey, Ed. How's it going?" She smiled at me.

"Uh, it's going good Winry. Just trying to enjoy Homecoming week." I replied.

Gosh, this was just to awkward. What could we possibly have to say to each other now? To be honest, I didn't want to talk to her. I don't mind being friends with her, but I seriously don't want all those rumors starting up again.

Principal Grumman took his place at the podium and he began to speak.

"Central Highschool, I have some news for you. Seven years ago, the Ishvalan War of Extermination took place."

The air in the room was tense. A lot of kids started to look uncomfortable. The Amestrians and Ishvalans have never gotten along. Why was he bringing this up now?

"Well students, the Furher of Amestris has declared that the Ishvalans integrate with the students in Central High school. I know it must come as a shock to everyone, but if we can-"

"Wait, we have to go to school with _them!?" _Lust stood up and yelled.

Envy stood up and yelled, "As if I'm going to school with a bunch of Ishvalans! No way! I rather watch the old Pokemon."

Did he just diss the original GOOD Pokemon? Oh, that bastard was going to pay for that.

Suddenly, a bunch of kids stood up and yelled. Oh crap a riot! I grabbed Winry's hand and we made our way out of the auditorium. Greed and Ling followed close behind. As soon as we were in the hallways, we stopped running to catch our breaths.

"T-They can't be that prejudice against the Ishvalans can they?" Winry asked frantically. "This Homecoming week was supposed to be fun, not like this."

Ling nodded. "Look, this Homecoming week can still be good. We don't even know when the merger is taking place."

Greed nudged Ling with his elbow. "Come on, let's go home. I still have to finish my Chemistry project. See ya at practice, Elric."

I waved goodbye at Greed. I was beginning to worry about Al and May because I haven't seen them come out yet. Well, Al can handle himself. I was about to walk off to my locker to grab my books when Winry grabbed my arm.

"Uh, can we talk?"

**Day Two **

**Nerd Day**

"So, you and Win are just going to be friends now?" Al asked me as we were walking to school. It was Nerd Day and Al and I had suspenders, big rimmed glasses with duct tape down the middle, knee socks, and tacky shoes. Yep, Nerd Day was the best.

I shrugged. "I guess so. It's fine with me, honestly. She just thanked me for getting the rumors off of everyone's minds or something like that."

Al was about to respond until three dark figures, wearing hoodies and jeans, came out of the alleyway. They were all Ishvalans.

This was going to be a lovely morning. I can tell.

"So, these are some the losers we'll be merging with, huh? What a shame." The guy in the middle said while his cronies snickered.

"Your mom!" I yelled.

Oh shit, Looks like I did it again!

**Tip #2 By Edward Elric**

**Never ever pull the Your Mom joke on someone who went through a extermination and may have possibly lost their mom. **

**Oops.**

**A/N: Oh, Ed will never learn. xD I personally hate the your mom jokes. They are so stupid**

**Ed: Your mom!**

**Exactly my point. Anyway, sorry for being late with this chapter. I'm just very busy, but I'm not giving up on this fanfic. I love it too much! **

**So review and let me know how I did! **

**Updated: 9/23/12**

**P.S. I really want Pokemon Black 2 :D **


	12. HIATUS Not discontinued!

**A/N: Ok, I'm not discontiuning this it will just be on hiatus until I get a few stories out of the way. I promise to continue this fic one day ( I bet in a month or two) when I get some inspiration, but for now it will be on hiatus. **

**Actually, when I finish my Bleach story and FMAxSoul Eater fic then I will continue these. but for now, they are on hold. **

**Thanks so much for understanding!**

**~Gray **


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